The Bulgarian Secret Service once created a laxative so powerful that it would cause the people who took it to shit themselves to death.

Defenestration (being thrown from a window) is the official method of execution in the Czech Republic.

Waffles are the oldest known breakfast food in the world. There are clear images of waffles on Egyptian tomb walls from 2143 B.C.

Jennifer Anniston's greatest fear is having an ugly baby.

During the Cold War, the CIA put in to operations a number of psychological operations in the former Soviet Union. One of the more bizarre ones involved the introduction of hundreds of thousands of small, brightly colored sea slugs into the Leningrad watersupply. It is unclear exactly what they wished to accomplish, but best guesses are confusion and fear. Unfortunately, the Russians found them delicious.

Although cats and dogs are by far the most popular pets in the United States, there are numerous less-known pet fancier groups, including ones for slugs, badgers, crabs, storks, tarsiers, and ticks. The last is the smallest pet group with its own annual meeting.

Dr. Phil McGraw has deliberately infected himself more than once with tapeworms in an effort to lose weight.

Henry Kissinger's favorite movie charater is Ratso Rizzo from Midnight Cowboy. He often walks across the street against the light so that he can say "I'm walking here!"

Malaysia was the surprise winner of a survey of the "Politest Country" in the world, beating out the favorite Japan. Kazakhstan was voted the least polite county in the world.

Evolutionary biologists think that computer keyboards will cause people with polydactyly (more than 10 fingers) to gain a long-term reproductive advantage.

William Shatner is working hard to start the ESP Cable Channel. It would provide a wide variety of original programming and movies, all in Esperanto.

People magazine almost named Osama Bin Laden as 2000's Sexiest Man Alive.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck broke up after she drugged him and painted his left testicle blue in order to demonstrate how easy it would be for her to remove one in case he ever cheated on her. He moved out the next day and broke up by phone.

In every movie since "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" Johnny Depp has played a female extra in addition to his starring role.

A number of judges have started experimenting with Botox injections in the buttocks. The injection numbs the butt for a long time and makes it much easier to sit through a long oral argument without shifting. On the negative side, it makes defecation a difficult and often extremely messy endeavour.

Russian torturers of Czar Nicholas II discovered that you can kill someone by changing their sleep cycles. It is now known as "extreme Circadian derangement". ECD is thought to be the reason for 5 college student deaths a year in the United States.

The NIH has conducted a study which indicates that there is a surprisingly strong statistical correlation between first name and schizophrenia. Although the list is classified to prevent abuse and discrimination, it is rumored that the name Jennifer is considered an unusually high risk for a violent schizophrenic break.

25% of residents of the U.S. Virgin Islands can't tell you what day of the week it is.

Eliza Dushku will not do a nude scene because she has a large, rather embarassing tattoo on her right hip.

Singer Jewel's favorite pair of glasses have frames fashioned from the penis bones (baculums) of raccoons. She says that they make her feel "extra smart and a little more groovy".

Police have long noticed that the building of a new Wal-Mart increased illegal drug activity in the general area. This was long assumed to be due to the influx of people and money around the store. But a new study indicates that the advanced inventory control skills that Wal-Mart teaches its employees is the primary reason for the increased activity. Local drug dealers who have jobs with Wal-Mart gain vital logistical and organizational skills that they copy and apply directly to their own illegal activities.

One of the more radical ideas from the Green Party leadership is the idea to completely shut off large areas of South Dakota as an environmental recharge zone. They defend the idea by noting that environmental conditions have been gravely affected by decades of ranching, and they also point out that no one really wants to go to South Dakota. In 2003, there were 98 days in which not one person entered the state.

John Stamos is a 10th Degree Black Belt in Aikido, but he has only ever competed against midgets.

Despite the unpleasant work environment, sewage engineers have an average lifespan of 92, well above the national average.

One benefit of being in the secretive "Skull and Bones" Society is the ability to call "Kicks" on another member. When one member calls "Kicks" on another member, they gain the right to kick the second member in the groin without fear of reprisal, i.e. no immediate retaliatory call of "Kicks". John Kerry managed to call "Kicks" on George W. Bush after each one of their presidential debates.

William Henry Harrison's nickname in the Army was "Mr. Happy Pants" because of his extraordinary sexual appetites.

Jerry Seinfeld's most prized possession is a kielbasa sausage blessed by John Paul I during his short time as Pope.

80% of the population of Fiji is allergic to chocolate.

Every day enough pizza is sold in the United States to cover an area the size of Iowa.

Sylvester Stallone has instructed his agent to get him placed in commercials in every country on the planet. His goal is to be the most widely recognized person in the world. So far, he appears in commercials in 136 different countries, most recently in Mongolia and Djibouti.

California researchers are moving rapidly towards developing stitches made from cloned human tissues for use in major surgeries. The stitches are going to be grown ahead of time from tissue taken from the patient. The stitches will have several advantages, 1) there is no danger of rejection, 2) there is a lessened chance of infection, and 3) they would reduce scarring by growing directly into the tissue.

Neil Bush, George W. Bush's brother, hasn't been invited to a state function at the White House since 2001, when he told the Somali Ambassador to the U.S. that sunglasses were the greatest invention in history because "they let you stare at women's tits all day with no one being able to tell."

Actor David Arquette wears gloves filled with baby lotion when he is at home. He orginally put them on as a joke, saying "I need my hands to be soft enough to touch my wife." He got the idea from reading Of Mice and Men. His wife, actress Courtney Cox, thought the idea was stupid and wanted him to take them off, but when she found out how soft his hands were she decided that he had to keep them on. He has now been doing this for two years and admits that he is really tired of it.

Due to an extremely ugly syrup-based trade dispute, France has forbidden the importation of Canadian bacon.

Roger Clemens has an unusual superstition. Since the game in 1986 when he struck out 20 batters, he has taped a 1920 penny to his right buttock. In 1996 he again struck out 20 batters, and started taping another penny to his left buttock. He has only missed this ritual once. In June 2000, he left the pennies in his hotel room, so he paid a clubhouse trainer $1000 to draw pictures of the pennies on his butt. He only went 1 1/3 innings that day and gave up 7 runs.

A surprising number of Hollywood gossip columnists have backgrounds in entomology. E! Entertainment gossip maven Ted Casablanca was ABD in entomology at the University of Georgia before becoming a gossip columnist. He says that the study of insect social systems is actually quite a good primer for studying Hollywood celebrities. In each case, he says, there is only the barest comparison to normal human interaction.

Experts estimate that the game "Freecell" found on many Windows-based computers costs American businesses over $5 billion in lost productivity annually.

Microsoft fonder Bill Gates owns over 300 houses all across the United States. He has bought them quietly over the years so that he will have a place of his own to stay no matter where he goes. The houses were carefully selected so that no house is more than a three hour drive from the next house. All the houses are relatively small and unobtrusive. The only things that make the houses unusual is that each one has a top-of-the-line security system, a T-1 Internet connection, and an underground shelter with room for 25 people and food for a three year stay.

Singer Courtney Love suffers from allopecia and has lost all of the hair on her body. Any visible hair, including eyebrows and eyelashes, is artificial.

Fantasy sports related crime is up an astounding 75,000% since 1995. The FBI recently founded a department specifically to deal with the criminal activity having to do with fantasy sports. The FBI estimates that fantasy sports is responsible for over $100,000,000 worth of illegal gambling and has been directly responsible for crimes ranging from wire and mail fraud, to breaking and entering, to murder for hire.

Actor Ray Liotta keeps a flock of 10 miniature cows and 5 minature goats at his estate in the Hollywood Hills. Every Christmas he makes cheese by hand as gifts for his neighbors.

According to 2003 emergency room statistics, most gun shot victims are shot in the buttocks.

Almost every country on Earth has a species of octopus that is native to its waters. This includes land-locked countries. For many years, it was thought that Mongolia was bereft of the intelligent many-armed mollusk, but in 2002 researchers discovered a tiny 1 cm freshwater octopus living in Hovsgol Lake. It has been named Przewalkski's Octopus after an early naturalist working in the area. The only country in world with no native octopus species is Vatican City.

Almost every European country has a different expression intended to excuse swearing in polite company. In France, when someone swears they say "Pardon my Czech" and in Austria they say "A German must have invaded my mouth." Russia is the only country to specifically have a phrase condoning swearing. There is an old Russian proverb that says "A Russian knows how to do four things well: fight, fuck, drink and swear."

It is illegal to dress as a coyote, wolf, mountain lion, or bear for Halloween in certain counties of Nevada, Wyoming, and Montana. Legislators are afraid that locals might accidentally shoot children under the mistaken belief that they are attacking house pets and farms animals.

79% of Republicans believe that public libraries are overfunded and agree with the description that libraries and librarians are "very liberal".

Schizophrenics often report talking to fictional characters. Oddly, despite the wide range in ages of the patients, the fictional character most often reported is Betty Boop, followed very closely by Hello Kitty.

Ralph Lauren is developing a new perfume that makes the wearer smell like freshly-baker bread. He plans to call it "At-Home Mom".

The children's dance "Hokey Pokey" was invented in 1849 by the noted English adventurer and linguist Sir Richard Francis Burton after a fact-finding visit to a male brothel.

Renee Zellweger's parents never allowed her to have a Hippity-Hop when she was growing up, claiming that it was "immoral". She now has over 8,000 of the bouncy toys, all stolen.

While in high school, actor Owen Wilson masturbated turkeys for breeding purposes. He says whenever he meets people who think that he has had it easy being an actor he brings up that job. He says he has never met anyone who has been able to say that they have held a worse job.

Jack Black really wants to reshoot Hollywood classic movies like Casablanca and Citizen Kane. The only difference is that Black wants to shoot them as porn movies and use A-List stars. He has already written a treatment for Hamlet with a gay sex scene between Tom Cruise and Jude Law (playing Hamlet and Horatio respectively) and a straight sex scene between Cruise and Keira Knightley (playing Ophelia). He is currently working on a new version of Gone with the Wind with Nicole Kidman as Scarlett. This version is said to feature a lot of interracial sex.

A recent survey has shown that allegiance to sports teams can have a statistically mesaurable impact on how you are going to die. Boston Red Sox fans are more likely to die of heart attack than fans of any other major league sports team. Some of the other maladies that affect specific fan populations: Chicago Bears-drunk driving accidents, New York Yankees-death by violent crime, New York Mets-complications due to diabetes, Indiana Pacers-animal attack (50X more likely than the average population), Seattle Mariners-accidental ingestion of household chemicals, Los Angeles Lakers-leprosy.

Recently, researchers in the Russian National Archives have come across plans for an secret operation known as Kaschei Bessmertniy that was intended to create a new type of soldier for close combat in war. The plan called for bears to be shaven, surgically modified, and clothed so that they could pass for extremely large humans at night. The bears would be specifically trained to attack humans not wearing a particular scent. The idea was that in case of a war with China the bears would be released along the enemy lines at night to rampage and kill large numbers of soldiers with their claws and teeth. The records were incomplete and it is unclear just how far the project got. There are some photos of shaven bears, but no evidence of any surgical modifications.

In 2004, for the second year in a row, Colin Farrell topped the list of "Celebrities That Most Deserve a Punch in the Face" according to a poll by People magazine. Rounding out the top five were Britney Spears (proving that the readers didn't have many qualms about the idea of hitting a woman), Val Kilmer, John Travolta and Courtney Love. In an aside, People mentioned that Paris Hilton had received more votes than all the rest of the entries combined, but that the People editorial board didn't consider her a celebrity, but rather a "wasted parasite".

Actor Wilmer Valderrama has come up with a novel idea to dealing with the large crowds of paparazzi that follow his girlfriend Lindsay Lohan around. He now carries a backpack full of live cockroaches whenever they go out. If a crowd of photographers get too close or too insistent he opens the pack and hurls the insects at them. So far, three restaurants have been closed due to health violations because of his actions.

Some Hollywood stars who want the effects of Botox but who want to use a more "natural" method of treatment, have started using the venom from the bite of the yellow crazy ant (Anoplolepis gracilipes) as an alternative. The major downside to this alternative treatment is a temporary boil that appears at the site of the injection and last between 5 to 7 days. After that the wrinkle-smoothing properties are almost identical in degree and duration to Botox.

Squirrels and cats can mate and produce offspring, albeit neutered ones. This almost never happens though because usually the cat just eats the squirrel.

Up until WWII, pigs were often used in Europe to clean up battlefields. Pigs will eat almost anything organic and the less organic material the less chance for disease. The meat from these battlefield pigs had a strange taste and was actually much in demand from connoisseurs.

Bob Hoskins has to shave his butt every other day, otherwise the rubbing of the hair on his clothes generates surprisingly powerful static electric shocks.

People who sleep with their eyes open tend to suffer from paranoia at more than twice the normal rate of the general population. Scientists theorize that the eye-open sleepers are subconsciously aware of what is going on while they sleep and that this awareness is the cause of their paranoia.

The U.S. government is developing add-on technology that can be used to make almost any item into a "smart" bomb. Designers envision a small pack with some guidance and GPS equipment that could be strapped to almost anything. This would greatly reduce the amount of money that would have to be spent on munitions. It would also allow for some creativity in attacks. The guidance pack can be jettionsoned prior to impact so that the military can claim that the object fell due to a freak atmospheric condition that should properly be called an "Act of God". Suggested objects for use as a "smart" bomb include 250 lb. block of frozen sewage, beehives, pig carcasses, sharks, human beings, and a water bed mattress filled with blood.

Domino's Pizza is working very hard to develop a pizza sauce that contains an antacid. They already have a marketing campaign for the new Domino's Smooth Pizza. Smooth because it goes down so easy.

12% of Americans believe that "The Man" is a real person who is not the President.

Condolezza Rice has such an acute sense of smell that she can identify people by their scent. This makes her almost impossible to sneak up on. However her olfactory acuity causes her nose to twitch involuntarily at strong or unpleasant odors. This is why she looks angry. Recently, she has started taking nasal numbing drops to deaden her sense of smell. Although effective, she is unhappy with this solution because it has ruined her enjoyment of food. On the plus side, she has lost 10 pounds.

In 1901, Andrew Carnegie looked into the possibility of buying the entire state of Rhode Island. He wanted to attempt to run the state according to the "newest, scientific principles so as to bring about the maximum of happiness for the maximum number of people." He calculated that it would cost roughly $700 million, more than even he had at the time. He attempted to interest fellow tycoon J.P. Morgan in a joint venture, but Morgan declined saying that Carnegie was thinking "too small" and he had never liked the smell of Rhode Island's inhabitants.

The largest (and one of the most popular) exhibits at the New York Museum of Sex is a life-size reproduction of a blue whale's penis (11 feet long). Women stand in line to be photographed next to, or even hugging the enormous phallus.

The IRS keeps track of all jobs listed on tax returns every year. In 2003, 4503 people listed their occupation as "playa", and, amazingly, 29 listed their occupation as "playa hater".

Sharon Stone likes to wear clothing that makes her look fat. She has two reasons, 1) When she wears non-"fat" clothes, everyone always mentions how good she looks, and 2) She enjoys seeing her picture on the front of tabloids with large headlines about her weight. She says that she "really enjoys deceiving those bastards".

In a recent booksigning in Betws-y-Coed, Wales, J.K. Rowling let it drop that one of the recurring characters would come out as gay in her next book. She would not say who the character was, but said that the character hadn't been in all the books, but had been in more than one. She also commented that one of her three main characters has a great deal of difficulty dealing with this revelation.

In the five days before Hurricane Ivan made landfall earlier this month, residents of New Orleans drank as much alcohol in "hurricane parties" as the city of Los Angeles drinks in an entire month. This despite the fact that the population of Los Angeles is over seven times larger than the population of New Orleans.

Skunk meat has a very sweet aftertaste when cooked. In fact, it has prompted diabetics to give themselves insulin injections.

Brad Pitt hates the way he looks. He once considered plastic surgery to make himself look different, but finally decided against it because (in his words) "The way I look now gets me a lot of tail."

Abe Vigoda filmed ever single episode of Barney Miller while high.

Some Hollywood bodyguards have implanted lead weights into their hands so that their punches will have more force behind them. These bodyguards generally only work for celebrities with their own private jets due to the fact that they set off metal detectors in airports.

When author C.S. Lewis died his relatives discovered that he was one of the biggest panda bear fans in the world. He had 154 stuffed pandas and a staggering 36,000 panda figurines of various shapes and sizes.

In 2001 Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld ordered his IT head to block access to eBay for everyone with a Defense Department computer. This was due, in large part, to the fact that Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz was spending several hours a day browsing model train listings on the popular electronic marketplace.

Excessive consumption of raisins can cause a metal detector to go off due to high iron concentrations in the body.

Almost every year in Maine someone is fatally gored by a moose.

The Washington Redskins have an annual competition to see who has the biggest mouth. It is usually won by an offensive lineman. But this year it was won by the backup quarterback Patrick Ramsey, who put the equivalent of two whole cabbages in his mouth.

More than one of the models featured in the Victoria's Secret catalog had taken the initial steps towards becoming nuns before they decided to try modelling.

There is a much higher occurrence of dwarfism among the children of NBA players than in the general U.S. population.

Gianni Versace came up with a design that called for a small group of marmosets to be trained to hold hands and form a living shirt. Notes found after his death make clear that he had abandoned the effort because the marmosets would have been distracted by food at any dinner party.

France is experiencing a surprising resurgence in the use of the enema for recreational and spiritual purposes. Much like the 17th and 18th century people are using a clyster pipe for administering gaseous enemas, including tobacco, marijuana and cocaine. Some people are also using enemas to directly inject alcohol into their colons so that they can get drunker than is possible through imbibing alone. And some people are injecting incense smoke to allow them to "carry a High Mass in the ass". The Catholic Church strongly disapproves of the last use calling it "sacrilegious and impious".

Scott Baio gives every one of his dates a pair of edible panties at the start of the evening.

Barbara Bush used to have her servants surreptiously slip sedatives into the drinks of "unsuitable" dates that her children brought home.

John Wayne took a formal high tea every day at 4 P.M. sharp on every movie he ever did.

Gerald McRaney is a big believer in the Armed Forces. He has consistently donated at least 10% of his salary to charities supporting veterans, and when he was on "Major Dad" he donated 80% of his salary. Luckily, he was married to Delta Burke who was making enough money for the both of them.

Some Hollywood agents have started to refuse to represent people who haven't had any plastic surgery because they feel that it is just a waste of time.

Based on condom use over the last three Olympics, Olympic athletes expend 20% more energy having sex in the Olympic Village than they do actually competing in the Games.

There is supposedly one golf course in Northern California that has grass that is crossbred with marijuana. There is a strong suspicion that it is merely a marketing ploy by a clever country club publicist, but the fact that it is likely untrue hasn't stopped a number of rich ex-hippies from playing a lot of golf and puffing on pipes stuffed with bits of the fairway.

Paris Hilton's dog, Tinkerbell, is a hermaphrodite.

In Las Vegas a gambling house is giving 4 to 1 odds that a fictional character will gain more write-in voters for President than independent candidate Ralph Nader.

Tom Cruise believes that his adherance to Scientology has given him the power to mentally control his hair length. He thinks that he can make his hair shorter while he sleeps due to positive thinking. In actuality, his longtime personal assistant occasionally sedates him and gives him a haircut.

King William IV of England used to deliberately feed his mistresses food contaminated with tape worms because he liked his women thin. Errol Flynn, Warren Beatty, and Steve Guttenberg did the exact same thing for the exact same reason. Only Steve Guttenberg ever got in trouble for it.

U.S. Customs Officials say that one of the most popular hiding places for contraband is in people's hair. From various hairstyles this year they have confiscated: drugs, porn, Zippo lighters, archaeological artifacts, African spiny mice, credit cards, and one man with a cache of 25 snakes eggs.

Ray Romano is a very serious nudist. When he is not in public he never wears clothes. In his house or office he is continually naked. He expects that the people he interacts with to be accepting of the fact that he is comfortable with his body and doesn't like to cover it with "constricting raiments".

Swedish store IKEA strongly encourages all its employees to be on the Atkins diet. It does this for three reasons: 1) Thin employees are less likely to miss days of work due to illness, 2) the possibility that a high-meat diet will kill the same employees off before retirement, thus saving pension monies, and 3) IKEA controls the largest meat-packing plants in Europe.

Every royal family around the world that has been in existence for more than 150 years shows evidence of moderate to severe congenital physical or mental abnormality.

The Bactrian camel has the largest bladder, by relative size, of any animal. During dry spells it can retain over 150 lbs. of urine. If it reaches an abundant water supply after a dry spell it can urinate for over five minutes straight. The Chinese call this the "Evacuation of God".

Former CIA Director George Tenet has an odd brain structure that only allows him to see things when they are moving. Doctors think that it is due to an extra-large R-complex in his brain. He is spectacularly good at sports involving balls and hand-eye coordination. But he often made people nervous by continually moving his head so that he could see them.

Laura Bush has a small tattoo of a cannabis leaf on her back below her left shoulder blade dating from her graduate school years at the University of Texas. When they were little, she told her twin daughters that it was a maple leaf leading them to believe for quite a long time that there was something bad about pancake syrup.

White supremacists have started funding liposuction clinics so that they can use the leftover human fat to manufacture explosives. The idea seems to have originated with the movie Fight Club, but none of the supremacist are talking because the first rule of Fight Club is "You do not talk about Fight Club."

Despite the fact that he was the President of the United States, no one is exactly sure when and where Warren G. Harding was born.

The first documented use of the word "dickweed" occurred on a 1979 broadcast of the McNeill/Lehrer Newshour.

Jack Black once took a dump so large that he photographed it and framed the photo on his wall.

Self-identified Christians are 2500% more likely to commit a violent crime than a self-identified atheist.

Most swimming pools in Louisiana have crawdads living in their plumbing.

Many NASCAR drivers take diuretics or laxatives before a race because the knowledge that they will have to go to the bathroom soon inspires a sense of tension that heightens their reflexes.

Police estimate that 5% of the major crimes that they investigate involve people using family pets for criminal purposes. These purposes range from vandalism, to carrying drugs, to using the pet as a murder weapon.

Some world-class swimmers have had fleshy webbing surgically constructed between their fingers to help their times. These people never shake hands.

In 2003, the Parliament of Montenegro signed an agreement with Hormel Foods to make Spam the national meat of Montenegro.

Since announcing his 2004 Presidential candidacy, Ralph Nader has hired several body doubles due to death threats.

In Hollywood, everyone wants to be friends with the key grip, because they are well-known to have the best drugs.

Karl Rove once said that there is only one truly killing political rumor: impotence. As he colorfully put it, "People will vote for a lot different reasons, but no one is going to vote for a limp dick."

Evolutionary biologists have speculated that the human beard might have survived as a genetic trait because it acted as kind of a "mini-larder". Food from meals would get stuck in the beard and then could be eaten at a later date, providing a slight evolutionary advantage.

85% of buildings in New York City that were built before 1900 have Masonic imagery on them.

In Singapore, one of the most wired countries in the world, deliberately infecting a computer system with a worm, virus, or trojan horse program is punishable by significant jail time and caning.

Adam West, TV's Batman, so enjoyed the female attention he got after his show started that he had his contract reworked to say that he was entitled to two blowjobs a day. In order to make it somewhat secret he had his lawyer write the contract so that the first letter of every line of text spelled out this unusual demand.

Scientists at the University of California at Berkeley can tell how bad the morning commute is in the San Francisco Bay Area by watching seismographs. Some worry that a particularly bad commute might trigger a mild earthquake.

Jean-Claude Van Damme has taken some much Human Growth Hormone (HGH) to stay buff for his movies that his head won't fit through the neck hole of a t-shirt. Since his second Universal Soldier movie he has had to have t-shirts sewn on to his body.

People who live along the equator have feet that are up to 75% larger than the human average. The Secoya Indians of Ecuador have an average shoe size of 17EE.

The parents of Sen. Mitch McConnell (KY) kept him in remedial classes until he was a junior in high school because they thought that he was borderline retarded. McConnell resented this deeply and hasn't spoken to them in 30 years.

Professional wrestler Macho Man Randy Savage immediately quit as the spokesman for Slim Jim meat products when he found out that the jerky-like sticks were primarily manufactured from dried slugs.

Wilford Brimley has spit on a different person every day since he was 15. That's when he realized that life wasn't fair. He spits on people to teach them what he calls "the most valuable lesson one can learn."

Ben Affleck claims that the hashish in Boston is the best in the world. He said that his favorite memories include the times that he and Matt Damon sat around trying to write Good Will Hunting while they were "fucking ripped" on hash.

The White House Library contains one book that is bound in human skin. If asked, the White House librarian will admit that the book exists but will refuse to divulge the title and refuse to say who was President when the book was received. If pressed, she will admit that the book was received in the 20th century, but will then refuse to answer any other inquiries.

According to a 1989 Playboy poll, the fictional character that men fantasized about most frequently was Jessica Rabbit. In a 1999 poll, the most frequent fictional lover was Lara Croft.

Singer Clay Aiken has a recurrent dream that he is being chased by a monkey with a severe head wound.

Newt Gingrich used to inject his scrotum with a saline solution prior to an appearance on the TV show "Meet the Press". The saline would temporarily give him an extremely large crotch. He felt this gave him a huge psychological edge.

There are rumors in Los Angeles that a mystery stalker has been shooting minor WB stars with tranquilizer darts and then drawing elaborate moustaches on them with permanent marker. Police have little to go on because the actors are too embarrassed to be seen with the facial drawings. Some people have commented also that the actors affected by the attacks have been too minor to warrant serious attention.

Although the 8th U.S. President Martin Van Buren was only 5'6" he was unusually strong. He once built a two-story barn by himself in just two weeks.

Miss Manners column has only been withheld from circulation one time. The column in question addressed the concerns of a woman who wanted to know what was the proper course of action after fellatio. Miss Manners replied that there was no hard and fast rule for this, and the proper course of action was to do whatever made the giver feel most comfortable. She did say however that, personally, she had always felt that spitting was a nasty habit.

During the mating season a male nutria can have sex over 1500 times a day.

According to insurance company statistics, 76% of people who consider themselves "good drivers" have killed someone in a traffic accident.

Disturbingly, the interior project name for the Odwalla Superfood bar was "Soylent Green".

Britney Spears buys a package of new underwear every day, and then throws it away unopened. She has not voluntarily changed her underwear in years. Every several months her family has an "intervention" and forcibly changes her underwear.

The Puritans' favorite vegetable was lettuce because it "...nourishes the Physickal body whilst doing naught to excite the Baser Carnal impulses."

The Sultan of Brunei was told by a seer from Kalimantan that his life would last as long as he "Partook of the flesh of those of a size with man." He interpreted this prophecy to mean that he need to eat the flesh of animals that are at least as big as a man. He is working his way through the world animal kingdom. So far he has eaten at least one bite of every North and South American animal that weighs over 150 pounds. He has started on the other continents but the rarity of certain animals, such as the giant panda, has made this part of his quest more difficult. After the land animals he intends to start with fish and marine mammals, ending with invertebrates, notably the giant squid and its rarer cousin, the colossal squid.

The Sanrio Company of Japan, makers of Hello Kitty products, enjoy unparalleled customer loyalty. Every year the company is named in dozens of wills as a benefactor and receives millions of dollars in bequests from people who have enjoyed the antics of Sanrio's anthropomorphic, mouthless animals.

Although by his own admission George W. Bush can't name more than five world leaders, he can name every member of the Marvel Comics superteam The Avengers from its inception in 1963 through the present. Bush has asked his wife Laura to dress as The Scarlet Witch for Halloween at least three times (never successfully). He has also requested that his Secret Service nickname be Captain America. This was turned down as being inappropriate.

In 1937, the Louisiana Supreme Court ruled that a killing can be considered self-denfense if the victim had threatened the killer with voodoo.

The average human loses 70 pounds of skin cells every year.

Test marketing has begun for a new Old Testament-themed cereal called "Smities". The front of the box has a cartoon of the Prophet Elisha calling two bears out of the woods to maul some kids who are trying to steal his bowl of cereal.

Sarah Michelle Gellar told her friends recently that she was glad that she would never have to play the role of Buffy Summers again because Buffy is a "whiny little bitch".

In a twist on the old idea of selling one's hair for money, people are now selling their entire scalps for experimental transplants. Rich bald men (and to a lesser extent women) are paying top dollar for scalps full of hair that can be transplanted on to their own heads. The fact that not one operation has been successful yet has not stopped the wealthy bald from spending over $20 million on these procedures last year alone.

Director Paul Verhoeven was reportedly very unhappy that the studio refused to let him include scenes of graphic bug sex in his movie Starship Troopers. He said that his movie Showgirls left him wanting to explore other avenues of sexuality.

Despite his very clean cut appearance, Jude Law has lost several movie roles due to his extremely poor personal hygiene. Matt Damon, who worked with him on The Talented Mr. Ripley, called him "the filthiest fucking person I have ever met."

Since 1999, actor Matthew McConaughey has been fined over $75,000 by his local neighborhood association for inadequate lawn care. In 2003 McConaughey released a four word statement about his on-going problems with the association that read simply "Fuck off, lawn Nazis." A subsequent "hate speech" law suit is currently working its way through California Civil Court.

Although hampered by a small sample size, initial research suggests that life expectancy for cat owners goes down by one year for every cat owned. Owner life expectancy goes down by five years per cat after the first ten.

Every week in the United States 10 people die from an aneurysm brought on by pushing too hard during defecation.

Several Hollywood celebrities have begun to implant their children with GPS chips in case of kidnapping cases. This is a widespread practice in Mexico where kidnapping is much more common. In Mexico those with the chip often wear an identifying bracelet that says they have a chip to discourage would-be kidnappers.

Rinsing your mouth with chopped onion and vinegar for 2 minutes will neutralize bad breath and keep it fresh smelling for 5 days.

Jack Nicholson had a diamond implanted in his left buttock after his first big movie role as a last-ditch insurance in case of hard financial times. In 1993, he had a diamond implanted in his right buttock to balance out the other one.

Nabisco considered trying to promote Oreos as a patriotic food with a "Mem-oreo Day" celebration featuring cookies with red, white and blue fillings.

John Carpenter desperately wanted to cast Richard Nixon as the President in his film Escape from New York. Carpenter offered Nixon $5,000,000 for the role, but Nixon turned it down because he wouldn't have creative control of his character.

There are more people in the world who have used a cell phone than have used a pay phone.

Roy Rogers didn't like horses very much and spent a great deal of time and money trying to breed a goat that was large enough to ride.

In its 2003 Annual Report to Shareholders, the Fruit of the Loom Company predicted strong earnings potential in the next 50 years due to worldwide expansion. The company bases this prediction on its estimate that 70% of the world's population has never worn underwear.

The most commonly eaten insect in the United States is the sugar ant. In the rest of the world the most commonly eaten insect is the sexton beetle.

Every day over 700 people are struck by lightning worldwide. Less than 25% of those people survive. Of the survivors, a very small but measurable fraction report significant improvements in their health and well being, including spontaneous remission of incurable diseases and regeneration of lost nerve tissue.

Academy Awards from 1947 have a lead-based paint on their bases that qualifies as a Level 2 Environmental Health Risk under current California law.

Mormons have better eyesight than any other religious group, but test lower in I.Q. than any group except Zoroastrians.

No one has ever observed iguanas mating. Even when in captivity and being filmed, the iguanas somehow know where and when they can successfully mate out of range of the camera.

On the Brady Bunch, the actor playing Bobby Brady, the youngest son, was older than the actor playing Peter Brady, the middle son. This was the source of a great deal of difficulty during the third year of taping as Bobby was considerably taller than Peter. This height difference required Peter to wear five-inch platform shoes and never to have his feet be shown on camera.

Everyone is Iceland over the age of 12 is required by law to learn CPR. The only people exempt from this law are people who, due to accident or congenital defect, have no arms.

Cantonese has no actual word for hello. The most common Cantonese greeting translates literally as "What do you want?".

More money is spent annually on lawncare in the United States than is spent annually on national defense in all of Europe.

12 members of the U.S. Congress have killed a person in one way or another.

Every U.S. President except William Henry Harrison has suffered from gout.

Anthropologists have noticed that vampire legends correspond very closely with cultures who developed distilled alcohol early in their cultural evolution. Some people speculate that the effects of a severe hangover, i.e. red eyes, sleeping during the day, savage temper, were seen to be the result of evil and the idea of a vampire was born to explain them.

Business is up 300% at the Hand to God Tattoo and Piercing Parlour in Chicago, Illinois since the movie The Passion of the Christ came out. Hand to God only does tattoos that "serve to Honor and Uplift the word of our Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ". All piercings are performed by carefully sterilized and trimmed thorns.

The most popular satellite channel in Kazakhstan is the Mexican channel Telemundo. The Mexican soaps known as telenovelas are especially popular.

Britney Spears has decided that she will only date people who share her birthday in order to maximize astrological compatibility.

New York City police have started recommending a new personal safety accessory for women in the city: a football helmet. It has several advantages: 1) it is good protection against head injuries from assailants, 2) it can be used as an offensive weapon (especially if the person is attacked from behind), and 3) it tends to discourage muggers because they think that women wearing football helmets are strange.

There is a phone number in England that, if dialed, plays a recording of "I'm Henry the VIII I Am" and then disconnects. The recording has been in place since 1966 and no one knows who set it up, or why.

Jack Nicholson eats a bushel of tomatoes a week because he believes fresh lycopene is the secret of his virility.

Jessica Simpson is in talks to play Smurfette in a new live-action Smurfs movie.

The famous overdose resuscitation scene in the movie Pulp Ficiton was inspired by Quentin Tarantino's love for the Bon Jovi song "You Give Love A Bad Name".

Elephants, like humans, can develop acne on reaching sexual maturity.

The English word pissant derives from the Low Saxon or Plautdietsch word pischhvant meaning involuntary urinator, especially on the field of battle.

Leonardo DiCaprio is extremely proud of his ability to eat lots of hot dogs. He often challenges people he knows to eating competitions. People who beat him go into a list in his Palm organizer entitled "Dead to Me".

There are an estimated 34,000 different words in English that are used to refer to sex. That is more than the entire vocabulary used in Shakespeare's plays and roughly seven times greater than the vocabulary of the average English speaker.

The CIA is said to be working on a robotic goat that can be slipped Middle Eastern flocks for surreptitious surveillance.

Law enforcement officials estimate that between 5% and 10% of all public storage units in the United States contain evidence of criminal activity, ranging from drug manufacture to theft to murder.

Carrots have been associated with Easter for a lot longer than the Easter Bunny. In many Renaissance paintings of Jesus there is a carrot hidden somewhere in the picture.

George Clooney believes that the best acting role he ever had was "Sparky the Gay Dog" on South Park.

According to Shinto beliefs, the rarer the animal the more valuable its body parts are for medicinal purposes. This is due to a concentration of chi.

Despite their fearsome reputation, most sharks are not very dangerous. The following is a partial list of things that have killed more people than shark attacks in the past 10 years: infected paper cuts, head injuries resulting from thrown computer monitors, pedestrian/pedestrian accidents, goats, inhaled pudding, zippers, sinkholes and overuse of a nasal inhaler.

The Republican National Committee has issued a directive that the serving of sherbet at fundraisers is strictly prohibited, only ice cream can be served. This is due to the perception that sherbet is more European.

Forensic pathologists have discovered that they can tell people who used a computer mouse often by the bone and muscle development in the hand.

Armadillos have 132 chromosomes (the most of any animal), while humans only have 46. Some have theorized that in the case of a nuclear war this would give armadillos a great advantage because they have more genetic potential for beneficial mutation.

Although it was rarely discussed in the movies, Godzilla was always meant to be gay.

Catholic priests have started using rubber gloves in Africa because they are afraid of the spread of AIDS during communion.

Basque shepherds often carry a backpack full of shoes with them when they are alone. The shoes are meant to confuse demons into thinking that there is a large group of people. Shoe salesman are considered to be very lucky people.

Scholars believe that Early Christian churches (before 500 A.D.) gained many converts due to the fact that marijuana was used as incense during church services.

In all her movies, Jennifer Lopez requires that her ass is on screen and in focus in at least 25% of time.

Pediatricians have found that showing cartoons during a patient exam lowers the pain response in children by 75%.

J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan was influenced heavily by the then-controversial theories of Sigmund Freud.

Norway is the only country in the world with more indoor toilets than TV sets.

Actress Maggie Gyllenhaal was clinically dead for 2 minutes when she was 14 due to a near-drowning. The experience has made her a confirmed atheist.

Early proposals for CSI: New York called for the lead investigator to be an older woman. Suggestions for this role ranged from Lily Tomlin, to Mary Tyler Moore, to Bea Arthur. The person who suggested Bea Arthur was fired.

The Secret Service codenames for Jenna and Barbara Bush are Goofus and Gallant.

25% of incunabula are bound with human skin. Many were the result of early incidents of protest against the abuses of corrupt Catholic priests.

Researchers are examining the idea that chlorophyll could be inserted into the human genetic makeup as a way to help alleviate food shortages.

The impotence drug Cialis was developed by researchers studying the erectile tissue in slug eyestalks.

Farrah Fawcett hasn't used toilet paper since 1978. Her movie/TV contract states that there always has to be a bidet on set. When she is away from her house or set she carries a bottle of water with a spray tip.

Erik Estrada thinks that he owns the 3rd largest auto body shop chain in Mexico, but it is actually only the 12th largest.

Worldwide, the animal most often responsible for human death is the water buffalo.

Tom DeLay suffered from the condition cornu cutaneum as a child and had an inch and half horn removed from his arm when he was 15.

Sean Connery is known in Bangkok as "Mr. Wetspot" because of an ad he did there for adult diapers.

Although he never brings it up, Dennis Kucinich is universally acknowledged as the best pistol marksman in the U.S. Congress. Kucinich says that he enjoys the Zen-like concentration needed for target shooting and he claims it brings him "closer to the Divine".

Every month dieting Americans lose weight equivalent to 2000 SUVs, while Americans who have recently stopped dieting gain weight equivalent to 2200 SUVs.

When it originally aired in 1974, The Land of the Lost was intended to be viewed as a political allegory, with the Marshall family representing the American people and the Sleestaks representing the corruption and secrecy of the Nixon administration.

Soap extras are often played by out-of-work porn stars. Soap directors like them because they look good on camera and aren't bothered by the fact that they don't have any lines.

Alicia Silverstone says gophers are "kinda shifty. They are one of the mammals I trust the least."

Teddy Roosevelt made all his Cabinet Secretaries box with him for three rounds before he appointed them.

Some German "modern primitives" have begun to have artificial sagittal crests attached to their skulls to make them more like their hominid ancestors.

Based on the number of inhabitants diagnosed with a mental disorder as defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Disorders, Vol. 4, (DSM-IV), Tokyo is considered the most disturbed city in the world. 65% of Tokyo's disturbed are classified as suffering from a Sexual and Gender Identity Disorder.

7% of people in the United States suffer from persistent hallucinations.

Senator Rich Santorum has the words "Entra Tutto" tattooed on his penis. The tattoo is Italian and translates as "It enters all." He got the tattoo the day after he was elected senator and describes it as "a gift to myself".

Actress Kate Bosworth claims that she can type 160 words a minute, but the only word that she can type is accurately is "boob".

Since 1990, there have been 113 recorded cases of domestic cats feeding on their deceased owners including 4 complete skeletonizations.

Bill O'Reilly owns the world's largest collection of Tijuana Bibles.

Vice President Dick Cheney enjoys writing explicit slash fiction about members of the Congress under the pseudonym "Wank Wonk".

Charlton Heston is a second cousin to Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan.

One of every six Americans has an Uncle Bob.

Ben Affleck has hired a person whose only job is to remind people that Affleck was in "Good Will Hunting".

Properly maintained, a 200 acre ant farm can provide enough protein to feed a city of 80,000 people.

On the Isle of Man it is legal to shoot someone, as long as you have their written permission first.

After the primates, the closest genetic relative to humans is the pangolin.

Early face lift recipients were told to smile as much as possible after the operation to "break in" their new faces.

Contrary to stereotypes, polling has found that Midwesterners are five time less likely to trust their relatives than a stranger.

In 1986, current Senate Leader Bill Frist lost a bet with a medical collegue concerning the Tennessee/Georgia Tech football game. As a result of the bet Frist has to eat roadkill every year on the anniversary of the game. So far he has eaten raccoon (five times), possum (three times), squirrel (three times), groundhog (twice), skunk (twice), a turtle, a snake, and a weasel.

Michael Jackon's will stipulates that when he dies he wants his bones to be displayed hugging the skeleton of John Merrick, a.k.a. the Elephant Man.

Some members of the 'Untouchable' caste in India have begun to deliberately eat a poisonous diet because it increases the value of their feces as a fertilizer.

3.4% of people living in Los Angeles believe that you can die from a "severely misaligned chakra".

When he was young, Keanu Reeves had to wear orthopedic gloves.

Michael Douglas improves his hand-eye coordination by capturing pigeons by hand in parks.

Ever wonder what's the reason for Donald Rumsfeld's winnng smile? Three words: Mammoth ivory dentures.