Some athletes that want a physical edge, but not a lot of extra mass, have begun experimenting with growth hormones from animals that are smaller than human. Mouse and marmoset growth hormones are the most popular so far. Their effect on the human body is still uncertain, but there are some shortstops who swear that the marmoset hormones have made them more alert and able to catch very hard hit balls. On the downside, they have become extremely paranoid and have started jumping to safety at any unexpected noise.

Ted Koppel ordered a very unusual set of silver and china for his 30th wedding anniversary. The plates were all decorated with graphic erotic scenes involving satyrs and nymphs taken directly from ancient Roman pottery. The handles of the silverware are made up of intertwined male and female figures. The Koppels only use this silverware/china set on very special occasions. No one who has ever been to one of these occasions will ever talk about it.

Madonna has installed a large bank of flashing strobes outside her London home. These strobes go off when she exits the house to ruin the pictures of any paparzzi who are lurking outside. They have triggered epileptic attacks in several of the photographers.

Actor Tom Bosley writes a sex column for a weekly Chicago newspaper under the name of "Howard Bones".

Nicky Hilton has been granted a U.S. patent for a new and innovative automotive hydraulic suspension system.

Hugh Grant once smoked 20 pounds of marijuana in one month. Although his memory is understandably a bit hazy from that time, he estimates that he travelled over 3000 miles on British public transportation, based on receipts and tickets that he found in his pockets when he finally ran out of weed.

The world's loudest animal is the tiny star-nosed mole. It can scream at an astonishing 300 decibels, but only when it is attacked. Since it lives almost its entire life underground these screams are almost never heard. But occasionally they come to the surface and are attacked by a predator or found by a human. In 2000, a 63-year old woman found a mole in apparent distress and attempted to help, but when she picked it up it screamed so loud that she burst an eardrum.

95% of Russians believe in elves.

According to brain scans performed during the act, the orgasmic reflex in cows is 10x the orgasmic reflex in humans.

Martin Sheen wears the same Halloween costume every year: a perfect Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan outfit from M*A*S*H.

James Woods only wears leather that is made from frogs.

Samuel L. Jackson is fluent in Klingon.

Donald Trump cries every time he fires someone on his show The Apprentice.

Football commentator John Madden worships a god he saw during a heart attack and near-death experience brought about by his pathological fear of flying. Almost nothing is known about his vision of God. The only thing that is known is that he has one ton of incense delivered to his house every month.

"Shit" is the third most commonly spoken word in the English language, right after "No" and "The".

Procter and Gamble spends over $10 million dollars a year on corporate espionage just to keep their Crest toothpaste in a dominant position in the market. In addition they have "disappeared" several spies from rival toothpaste makers. Tom of Tom's of Maine, has vowed to see the head of P&G corporate security lying at his feet.

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder has an intestinal condition that makes his farts especially pungent. The smell of these eruptions is of such power that Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi had to leave a G-7 photo shoot to vomit. None of the heads of the G-7 countries want to sit next to Schroeder at summit meetings.

Chicken pot pies are banned in Iran by religious edict.

Senator Orrin Hatch's extensive collection of action figures is the envy of a number of people on Capitol Hill. The Capitol Police have been called to his office for attempted break-ins more than 150 times.

Danish teens have developed a new and unusual way to take drugs. They have started dipping hedgehogs in liquid LSD and then throwing them at each other. The LSD on the needles penetrates the skin and the pain from the impact of a hedgehog is supposed to heighten the experience.