Radio personality Rush Limbaugh never allows anyone to see him throw a ball. He has a minor shoulder malformation that makes him throw like a girl.

The first time that Robert Downey Jr. checked into a rehab clinic it was not for drugs or alcohol. It was so that he could get a chicken-egg-sized boil lanced on his butt. He wanted privacy and figured this rehab was the easiest way.

The largest tick ever recorded weighed almost three pounds. It was embedded in the back of a morbidly obese person. The person was not even aware of it. It was estimated that the tick had consumed at least two gallons of blood during its lifespan.

In Japan, the average person has a 45% chance of being related to a ninja.

1 in 7 serial killers is also a cannibal.

Actor Burt Reynolds will not knowingly enter a room which contains cheese.

William Shatner literally begged writer Joss Whedon for a role on his show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Whedon has said that if the show had continued to Season Eight, he was strongly considering casting Shatner as a vampire lounge singer.

Henry Kissinger is a remarkably flatulent individual. When he was U.S. Secretary of State he had to wear special underwear that contained both sound baffles and odor-absorbent panels so that he would not commit any diplomatic faux-pas during high-level meetings with officials from foreign governments. He was not entirely successful. Recently released documents from the former Soviet Archives reveal that during a 1975 meeting a Russian diplomat had to pretend that there were sewage problems in the building in an attempt to explain away the "hideous odors" associated with Kissinger. Kissinger had a cold at the time and didn't realize that his odor panels weren't working.

Salt Lake City has a law on the books from 1873 that bans all shoes more than 13 inches in lengths from toe to heel. It is unclear why this law was passed, but there are two competing theories. One is that it was a measure designed to keep lawless cowboys out of the city by banning their long boots. The other theory is that male prostitutes were in the habit of wearing extra-long shoes as a clandestine advertisement of the length of their penises.

Angelina Jolie is scared of getting cancer because she doesn't want to lose her hair due to chemotherapy. She is preparing for this unlikely occurrence by buying wigs. She currently has 12,000 wigs and two full-time staff people to care for them.

In New York City the odds of living in a house or building that hasn't been the site of a murder in the past 100 years is 1,250,000 to 1.

In the United States a car is stolen every 31 seconds. A police car is stolen every 47 seconds.

On Fridays, there is a 15% chance that a given office worker in the United States is hungover.

In the Northern Territory of Australia, it is just as likely for a person to have a pet wombat as a pet dog.

Americans lose an estimated $570,000 in dimes every single day.

In the past 100 years there have been over 1200 different species of animals that have directly caused human deaths. This includes over 200 species of mammals, over 500 species of reptiles and 123 different species of fish.

High school marching band members join the military at a rate that is more than double the rate of high school football players.

Actor Matt Damon has trained a flock of crows to live in the trees outside his house and attack anyone who comes around with a camera. It's his way of dealing with the paparazzi. His training methods have been so effective he has been asked to co-author a peer-reviewed paper on avian behavior.

An estimated 15% of Louisiana alligators have eaten human flesh. This mainly consists of toes and fingers of people living nearby their habitats, but also a large number of coffins unearthed through various hurricanes have provided food for the reptiles.

Singer Cyndi Lauper has damaged her hearing from playing concerts to the point that her own speaking voice is pitched too high for her to hear herself talk.

Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild video series, has given a plastic surgeon $2.7 million to research what surgical techniques would be required to make a human quadrupedal.

Paris Hilton loves the iPod. Since its introduction in 2001, she has bought over 275 iPods. This is partly due to the fact that there have been numerous different models and sizes, but mostly due to the fact that she loses them about once every two weeks. She has also dropped at least 17 of them in various toilets.

Every month over 15 people come to Atlantic City hospitals after having their thumbs cut off.

Newsman Chris Matthews always undresses with the music from Carmina Burana playing. He has his whole house wired with speakers so he can take his clothes off in any room.

Despite the fact that in Rome over 60% of daily traffic accidents are caused by Vespa scooters, very few of them are prosecuted because the Italian government believes that it shouldn't tarnish the Vespa as "an important symbol of the carefree Italian lifestyle".

Every year in the United States more than 300 people are buried in coffins made entirely out of duct tape. The average coffin requires 7 complete rolls of duct tape, making the coffin cost approximately $30. Some especially frugal individuals have instructed that their bodies just be wrapped in tape, like a mummy. Unless the individual is extremely fat (over 600 pounds) this requires only one roll of tape.

A vegan group has spent over $10,000,000 trying to breed a more intelligent variety of cow in an effort to make them more lovable and thus make it less likely for people to want to eat them. Unfortunately it hasn't worked precisely as planned. The cows all have bizarrely large skulls and people feel an instinctual loathing for them as something unnatural or even, in the words of one, "unholy".

Political commentator/advisor James Carville is a passionate believer in free speech. So much so, in fact, that he answers the door for every solicitor that comes by. He does however always carry his cat with him. He gives the solicitor or canvasser one minute to interest him and if they don't he hurls his cat at their face. Although there have not, to date, been any injuries that required stitches, the solicitor/canvasser almost invariably has to make use of the box of band aids and antibiotic ointment that is always on Carville's porch.

When actor/musician Harry Connick Jr. was young he had a dream about cannibalistic sheep that scared him so badly he needed the lights to be on while he slept for an entire month. He gradually forgot the dream as he got older, but as adult he suddenly remembered the specifics of the dream when a fellow diner told him what mutton was. He screamed non-stop for 30 minutes before a quick-thinking assistant threw a Xanax and a rohypnol in his mouth when he stopped to take a breath. He slept for 12 hours and woke up having forgotten the whole incident. His friends, family and employees now warn everyone to never mention mutton to him again.

The people of Missouri eat twice as many Cheetos, in total, as any other state.

Actor Donald Sutherland carries an Epi-Pen of adrenaline at all times and tells people that it is because he is very allergic to bees. He is not actually allergic, he just uses this as an excuse for his Epi-Pen so he can give himself injections in public without any legal troubles. When he starts to get tired, he just fakes a bee sting and floods his veins with the sweet energy of human adrenaline.

In 2006, a Miami man was granted a divorce from his wife without alimony while acting as his own attorney. His stated reason for the divorce consisted of three words "Bitch be crazy." The judge presiding on the case granted the divorce after a 30 minute interview with the woman. His summary judgement: "Although his initial lack of sense in agreeing to the marriage is truly egregious, I am forced by fact and my own judgment to conclude that his stated reason for requesting dissolution of the marriage is one of the most sound that has ever been presented in my court."

Comedian/actor Billy Crystal spends over $4000 a year on prepaid cellular phones that he uses to make prank phone calls. He claims that it keeps his "comic chops" fresh. He even tried to claim it as a business expense on his tax return until his accountant talked him out of it.

Climbing the stairs one at a time burns over three times more calories than taking them two at a time. This is independent of the size of the stairs.

Over 300,000 U.S. male college students work their way through school as gigolos.

The United States Government has spent over $40,000,000 trying to establish a 18 hole golf course in Iraq. The security for the course is on par with the Green Zone in Baghdad. The course uses enough water to serve 15,000 Iraqis daily. Despite the money and security, no one has ever played on it.

William Shatner has a law degree from the Univesity of Iowa. He frequently acts as a legal consultant on his TV show, Boston Legal. He has never tried any cases, but he frequently helps fellow actors with contract questions.

When drunk, actor Nick Nolte punches people who are wearing Bluetooth headsets. He says that it is a "matter of general principle and common decency". He has steadfastly refused to apologize for any of the incidents, drunk or sober.

Actress Scarlett Johansson requires all of her lovers to be able to fit into the custom-designed condoms that she orders. The condoms are designed to only fit men who are best sized to please her.

Toward the end of his life, professional boxing champion Rocky Marciano was asked if he had any regrets about his boxing career. Marciano said "Yeah, I regret that I never had the chance to fight Bigfoot. I always wanted to lay a right hook across that bastard's ugly face." When the questioner said that Bigfoot was imaginary, Marciano glared at him, muttered something about "stealing our women" and walked away. He died before anyone could ask him about it again.

The Shreveport Louisiana Police Department has recently issued all of their officers with paintball guns. The intention is that if a police officer sees a traffic violation occurring while already issuing a ticket they can just "tag" the newly-noticed offender with a paintball and then track them down later. There have been both advantages and disadvantages in practice. One advantage is that cars shot with paintball guns often pull over immediately to try and find the culprit. This makes the officer's job much easier, especially since the driver of the tagged car often heads right to the officer to make a complaint. The major disadvantage is that on at least two occasions the police officer used the wrong gun and actually shot the car.

In 1459, the English community of Stang Foot made the decision that they could not accept a local lord that they did not respect and so passed a local law that the local lord had to accept a "blow to the nose from the stoutest man in the county" on his 18th birthday. This tradition lasted until 1876. The results can be seen in family portraits. The local male aristocracy is often depicted with a smashed and malformed nose.

Multiple studies have shown that Iowa is the state that Americans are most likely to forget if they are asked to name as many states as possible. Although there are a number of suggestions as to why this is, ranging from shape of the state to the simplicity of the name, the suggestion that carried the most weight with study respondents is simply that Iowa is too boring to both remembering.

46% of iPod owners feel that people who don't own iPods "just aren't very intelligent".

Singer Rick James actively tried to become infected with genital warts because he thought that have warts on his genitals would increase the pleasure of his sexual partners. He said "It's all for the ladies."

Inventor Nikola Tesla was well known for his amazing powers of visualization. He was able to visual his inventions completely, in 3-D, in his head. A less well-known aspect of this ability was that sometimes he would get a song stuck in his head. His mental abilities would magnify the song until it was all that he could hear or concentrate on. On the occasions that this happened he would have to be sedated until the episode passed. His friends would know that the song left his head when his hand would stop moving in rhythm to the internal beat. He was especially susceptible to Cole Porter songs, and once had "I Get a Kick Out of You" stuck in his head for 13 days. He hated Cole Porter and spent long hours at the end of his life designing devices that would kill Cole Porter from great distances.

Actor Leonardo DiCaprio is a very committed environmentalist. He has decided that if he ever has children they have to take up less space than he does. To that end he has made the decision that if he ever does have children, their mother must be no taller than 4'9". He is currently searching for just such a woman, preferably one who, in his words, has "awesome knockers".

King Uros II of Serbia believed that he was cursed by the Devil with lycanthropy, and thought that he became an animal by the light of the full moon. But unlike the more common ideas of werewolves, he believed that he was a weregoat. He had periods where he would think that he was a goat. During these times, he refused to wear clothing, and would only bleat. His courtiers eventually learned that the easiest way to deal with him at these times was to lock him in a room with a bucket of kitchen scraps and a bowl of water. After several days he would recover. Unfortunately, this indirectly led to his death in 1161 when he ate a bunch of eggshells while thinking he was a goat. He died from salmonella.

There was a long-standing rumor that one of the ingredients of Red Stripe beer was gecko meat. Finally, in 1995, a spokesman for Red Stripe called a press conference to address this rumor. He said, "Red Stripe is made with only natural and native ingredients. There is NO gecko. That's revolting and besides there are no geckos in Jamaica." A reporter then raised his hand and said "What about iguana?" The spokesman said "No more questions? Thank you for coming." and left the room.

Every hieroglyphic language ever studied has contained glyphs which were based on representations of human genitalia.

If you meet someone suffering from polydactyly (extra fingers or toes), the chances that they are a Mormon is better than 90%. Not only do Mormons suffer from polydactyly more than other groups, but they are also especially committed to converting non-Mormons who suffer the anomaly.

George H.W. Bush's mother didn't think all that much of her grandchildren. She had mean nicknames for all of them. Most of these are only known to the family, but during a 1998 interview with Neil Bush he let slip that she used to call him "Turtle" because he was "slow and stupid". When the interviewer expressed astonishment that a grandmother would be so mean, Neil laughed and said "That's nothing, you should hear what she called George W." Neil refused to divulge any more nicknames.

Former backup dancer Kevin Federline reported to Entertainment Tonight that since his divorce from Britney Spears, her passionate fans have tried to kick him in the crotch an average of twice a day. Although most have been unsuccessful, Federline said that at least 5 fans have succeeded, including one collegiate soccer player who laid him out for two solid days.

Actor Adam Sandler used to scream involuntarily every time his cell phone rang. This continued until his personal assistant had the bright idea of changing his cell phone ringtone to the sound of Sandler screaming.

In an effort to get tough on prostitution, the city of Bridgeport, Connecticut recently enacted an ordinance that made public display of "ass crack" an offense punishable with a stiff fine and jail time. Unfortunately, the very first person to be punished under the ordinance was a plumber.

Newly enacted United Nations regulations require that every translator who works at UN Headquarters be able to accurately translate the word "douchebag".

Vice President Dick Cheney doesn't actually have a heart problem, but he does have a pacemaker. He had it installed so that it would regulate his heart rate during any polygraph test, enabling him to tell lies and half-truths with relative impunity.

Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens has been pulled overboard on several occasions by fish that he has caught. Once by a halibut, once by a king salmon and once by a particularly frisky trout.

Actor Ryan Reynolds is very, very afraid of showers. He usually takes a bath, but if he has to take a shower for some reason he has to take a tranquilizer beforehand. The big downside is that the tranquilizer really screws up his sense of time and he ends up taking really long showers, up to two hours.

NFL running back Reggie Bush is not an environmentalist, but he doesn't like to lie. So every so often he makes to sure to physically hug a tree so that he can say he is a "treehugger" is a reporter ever asks him about his views on the environment. So far the question has only come up once and the reporter laughed at the response long enough for Bush to leave the room without having to worry about follow-up questions.

Actor Kiefer Sutherland drinks a lot, but not for the usual reasons. He suffers from Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) and has always felt that he had "too much liver". He drinks as a way to kill off at least part of his liver because he can't find a doctor who will surgically remove part of it.

All sea otters are bisexual.

Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito is a huge fan of Harry Potter. In fact, he requires that all his Supreme Court clerks not only be very familiar with the series of books, but they must also play an instrument so that they can play in his wizrock band, Wizengamot.

In a 2002 interview, when asked what she would do if she won an Academy Award, actress Tara Reid said "I would refuse it. Accepting an award would just make it seem as if I think acting is an important occupation. It's not, we're really just hired monkeys jumping around on stage for the amusement of the audience. I mean it's not fucking brain surgery, it's not developing a cure for cancer." When asked if she thought that this attitude might alienate her fans she said "Fuck them. Dumbasses."

Actor Dustin Hoffman charges people $10,000 to record a telephone answer machine message for them. He will read any script that they want, as long as he doesn't deem it obscene.

Scottish Highland cattle are exceptional diggers. They can dig a four foot deep hole in two hours. They sometimes excavate "burrows" for themselves when the wind is especially bitter. Unlike rodents burrows, the cattle "burrows" are essentially just deep holes that the cows can shelter in. On the downside, cattle have been known to drown in these holes due to sudden rainstorms. They are very heavy sleepers.

Record exective and reality TV fixture Simon Cowell is in the Guiness Book of World's Records for the rather astonishing ability of balancing a needle, point-first, on a single grain of salt.

Mogul Rupert Murdoch won't go outside without nose filters. Not only is he worried about airborne diseases, but he is also worried about mind control, since he believes that nostrils provide unimpeded access to the brain.

Actress Jessica Biel spends four hours a day submerged in lotion in an effort to keep her skin soft.

On PC keyboards, the Scroll Lock key is not actually connected to any circuitry.

Every day in the United States people clicking on computer mice release the same amount of energy as a 10 kiloton nuclear weapon.

Comedian/actor Stephen Colbert is hard at work producing a new Pippi Longstocking movie, with himself in the starring role.

Actor Viggo Mortensen follows hotel cleaning crews and sneaks into hotel rooms to steal Bibles when the crews aren't paying attention. He says that he is just doing his part to help the American public.

In Portland, Oregon it is illegal to kick a fish.

The annual 4th of July hot dog eating competion in Coney Island has refused to allow tofu-based "veggie" dogs to be used in the competition. According to the company policy of the organizer "The hot dog helps us to celebrate our lives and our liberties, and it was the firm belief of our founder that these liberties rested on us eating the flesh of dead animals. In this era of "political correctness" and "animal rights" we feel it is important to maintain the traditions that made us both a great Nation and a great company." Besides, a spokesman added "It is a well-known fact that soy-based products make you gay."

Author Deepak Chopra is experimenting with a new diet that consists solely of krill, a small shrimp that is the primary diet of blue whales. He said that "If this tiny creature can sustain the largest animal on Earth, it must be worthwhile." He has maintained his weight and energy, but has said that the shells from the krill have been "very, very, very hard" on his "colon and anus".

Actress Scarlett Johansson won't date a guy until he can beat her 3 out of 5 times thumb wrestling. This is not easy. She has very strong thumbs. She can break a walnut between her thumb and forefinger.

Actor Chuck Norris refuses to eat pork because he decided after reading the Bible (Matthew 8:28-34) that pigs are especially vulnerable to demonic possession.

89% of Americans don't believe that Armenia is a real country.

At some point during every episode of Joss Whedon's short-lived show Firefly, a snippet of gay porn can be seen on a background monitor. It was never a problem as the longest incident only lasted half a second.

When Hollywood producer Jerry Bruckheimer throws a dinner party at his house he puts out a chair that is completely made of papier-mache. In looks it is indistinguishable from the other chairs but, of course, when someone tries to sit on it it collapses. He thinks that this is a great joke. When the chair collapses, he flips a coin and either gives the victim $1000, or kicks them out of his house for allegedly breaking an antique chair.

Comedian/actor Dennis Leary likes to crack his knuckles. But he isn't content with just cracking his fingers and toes. He can crack his back, his elbow, his sternum, and the sutures of his own skull.

In Lubbock, Texas it is legal for a person to shoot a car whose car alarm has been going off continually for more than 5 minutes. This law led to a series of car shootings when a band of green activists walked around town and set off car alarms on purpose so that they could then shoot them and lessen the number of cars on the road. The group shot 37 cars before an emergency injunction was issued to stop this behavior. None of the owners of the cars were reimbursed by their insurance companies.

1 in 1000 women can have a spontaneous orgasm from yawning. Only 1 in 1,000,000 men can do so.

Former actress and cop slapper, Zsa-Zsa Gabor never learned how to read English, she could only read Hungarian. All of her scripts had to be translated. She never learned how to write either English or Hungarian. All autographs that are purported to be hers are forgeries.

French General Charles de Gaulle once killed a man during World War II by cutting his throat with a deep-frozen flounder.

Despite his short height, actor Mickey Rooney has the second largest hands in Hollywood.

Powdered rosemary thrown into the eyes will cause temporary blindness lasting up to three days.

Churches are destroyed by lightning more frequently than any other structure.

Once, when asked how she maintained her figure, actress Sally Field said "Oh, that's easy. I like to screw more than I like to eat. I have to have my assistant remind me to eat."

The FBI estimates that over 1000 people in the United States fake their deaths each year for various reasons.

According to a 2005 study, 3.6% of Tokyo natives have a real and persistent fear of an attack by Godzilla. This is despite the fact that they know he is fictitious.

47% of high school reunions end with a fight about marital infidelity.

Former British Prime Minister John Major used to occasionally wear a merkin so as to better appreciate the concerns of his female constituents.

According to John Keats' diary, the poem "Ode to a Grecian Urn" was actually written about his penis.

The yak is unique in that it is the only animal in the world that kills more humans every year than is killed by humans. This can be attributed to the fact that it is found primarily in Buddhist countries.

From August 16, 1977 through September 16, 1977 over 30% of all male babies born in Yugoslavia were named "Elvis". 5% of all female babies were named "Elvis".

Urination can cause a sudden loss of up to 5 degrees of body heat. In extreme cases it can cause hypothermia and complete loss of muscular control.

Actor Morgan Freeman has personally caused the disbanding of several chapters of the Ku Klux Klan. He does this by visiting the chapter personally, and through calm oration, rhetoric and logical debate convinces the members to leave the Klan. None of the chapters that he has visited have ever reformed.

Cuban Leader Fidel Castro was an excellent baseball player in his youth. He has forced all of his many children to learn a particular sport intensively. He wouldn't allow any of them to play baseball (so as not to diminish his achievements) but has given them free choice of all other sports. Although generally pleased with his children's choices, including soccer, boxing and wrestling, he was reportedly very upset when one son chose bowling, and had to be hospitalized when told that his son Angel had decided he wanted to be a pro bass fisherman.