Vice President Dick Cheney doesn't actually have a heart problem, but he does have a pacemaker. He had it installed so that it would regulate his heart rate during any polygraph test, enabling him to tell lies and half-truths with relative impunity.

Vice President Dick Cheney can't smile for more than 5 seconds without suffering a massive headache. It has to do with a malformation of the muscles attached to his skull. Because of this he has to work very hard at not smiling. He has been known to punch stand-up comedians without warning or provocation.