U.S. Representative Denny Hastert sometimes has difficulty staying awake during House debates. He combats this by sitting on a thumbtack and relying on the pain to keep him awake. Although this was initially helpful, he has built up scar tissue on his buttocks that renders it less effective. He has had to move the thumbtack around quite a bit in order to have it pierce unscarred tissue. Occasionally when he stands up the thumbtack still stuck in his ass. This not only is an affront to his dignity, but it also ruins the cut of his suits. One of his aides is assigned to watch him every time he stands up to make sure that the thumbtack is out. He is currently contemplating have surgery to remove some of the scar tissue. He absolutely refuses to drink coffee to stay awake because he doesn't want to be an addict.