Actor/Director Woody Allen's little-known hobby is dog breeding. He never displays the results at shows, but he is working towards breeding the world's largrest dog. He is not working with large established breeds, such as the St. Bernard or the Mastiff, but instead wants the largest dog to be a mutt, because he thinks that it will be genetically healthier. He started working on this project for three reasons. 1) He wanted a large dog as proctection for him and his family, 2) he had long thought about filming a version of the Sherlock Holmes' story The Hound of the Baskervilles and he was unsatsified with the look of exisiting dogs, and 3) he has always wanted to play God.

Actress Reese Witherspoon has instructed her personal chef to come up with a diet that makes her farts smell sweet. The endeavour has not yet been completely successful, but Reese's farts now generally smell amazingly like a freshly toasted English muffin. Oddly, she hates English muffins and refuses to eat them.

Former NFL quarterback Joe Theismann has offered various people up to $100,000 for the chance to break their legs. He claims that it was at the suggestion of a psychaiatrist who thought that it might help him with some of the issues that he has realting to the injury that ended his playing career. To date, no one has taken him up on his offer, but he carries the $100,000 with him at all times, just in case he finds a willing subject.

In 1980, the FBI investigated charges of anti-American activities amongst the cast and crew of the TV show WKRP in Cincinnati. The investigation lasted 6 months and produced 1500 linear feet of records. Although there were never any charges filed, the records have been classified Top Secret and will not be subject to review for 100 years.

Former Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill had very unusual tastebuds. He tasted sour things as sweet. He estimated that over the course of his lifetime he won over $40,000 in bar bets having to do with eating lemons.

Swedish engineers have built a functional car whose body is made entirely of snow and ice. The engine is made of ceramics and plastics to reduce heat. Although it is slow having a top speed of only 15 miles an hour, it does run, and recently completed a 200 mile test drive.

Political commentator George Will has one superstition that he adheres to rigorously. The first visitor that he receives in his house in the new year has to be of Latvian descent, and have red hair. He keeps a list of people who meet this criteria and he makes a point of inviting them to come over early on New Year's Day. He is very serious about this. He once physically tackled a man who attempted to come in before the yearly Latvian arrived. Will was eventually forced to settle out of court for an undisclosed (but reportedly six figure) sum in order to keep the man from pressing assault charges.

In the United States, the animal most likely to cause a traffic accident is the opossum. There are two reasons for this (in addition to its relative abundance compared to other animals). 1) Some people find it so cute when it waddles across the road that they frantically swerve to avoid it, and 2) some people, having never seen an opossum before, think it's a giant rat and swerve frantically to try and hit it.

As part of his rather substantial fortune, Vice President Dick Cheney owns a string of junkyards in the Midwest. His junkyards are legendary for their poor customer service. Cheney defended their performance in a 1995 interview saying "Have you seen the people who frequent junkyards? They are creepy, car-obsessed losers. Most of them forget to bathe half the time, and they can't form a coherent sentence that doesn't involve timing belts. If my staff were friendly, they would have to listen to these losers yammer on about the various junkheaps that they are vainly trying to restore. So, yeah, I am okay with my staff being unfriendly because I don't think that they need the grief of having prolonged conversations with the car troglodytes."

Actor/comedian Jerry Lewis folds pornographic origami as a means of relaxation. His work has been featured prominently in several Japanese museums, including one solo show.

Actor Dennis Quaid is habitually late. He has started carrying multiple pockets watches set to different times, so that when he arrives late he can pull out a watch set to show that he is on time. He then apologizes and makes a show of resetting the watch to the correct time.

A Candadian company is testing a jacket filled with specially-treated porcupine quills. The quills are treated to become somewhat softer. The quills offer incredible thermal insulation allowing the wearer to work comfortably in temperatures up to -60 degrees Fahrenheit. The quills are also sturdy enough that they provide protection against a .22 caliber bullet. The jackets are specifically intended for member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, but there has been a great deal of interest from Russian law enforcement.

Oprah Winfrey keeps 10% of her personal net worth in Sacagawea gold dollars, as a way of honoring strong women that came before her. The coinage is stored in several secure locations and weighs over 1300 tons.

McDonald's is working on making a more heart-healthy Big Mac by using ground earthworms to substitute for up to 25% of the burger.

The South American guanaco, a relative of the llama, can spit hard enough to draw blood.

85% of department store Santas are high school football players that never played in college.

In 2005, the Alabama State Senate voted on a resolution declaring that sushi was "contrary to the values and ideals of the finest Alabama cuisine" and that "it (sushi) would henceforth be classified as Yankee trash".

The first day of each new session of the Australian Parliament always ends with a beer-chugging contest. The winner of the contest has his or her choice of legislative committee assignments. Every Australian Prime Minister since 1904 has won at least one of the these competitions.

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The average American inhales over 20 tons of fecal particles, from various sources, over the course of his lifetime.

Until 1973, the Vatican maintained a committee of three elderly priests to watch and comment on controversial movies and formulate official Church opinions. The priests were chosen for their extensive knowledge of Catholic theology, history and doctrine. This policy was changed due to the release of The Exorcist. The images and words of the movie were so frightening and upsetting to the 70+ year priests that two of them had to be hospitalized and the remaining one retired to a monastery. The committee still exists today, but the maximum age of the priests who serve on it is capped at 50.

Although there were animal-based precursors, the ancient Aztecs were the first society in the world to develop the rubber condom. They were very effective but were almost never used as the rubber had to be applied directly, and at a temperature just short of boiling.

Fashion designer Ralph Lauren is a committed environmentalist and is hard at work finding clothes that are made from ecologically-beneficial and renewable resources. He believes that the best hope in this direction is cloth made from insect parts. He claims that his researchers are, at most, 18 months away from a breathable, soft cloth made entirely from pulverized ants.

Chile leads the world in reported paranormal encounters by a wide margin. Every year, over 80,000 paranormal incidents are reported in Chile. Of these incidents, chupacabra sightings are the largest subset, with over 12,000 encounters a year.

When basketball star Shaquille O'Neal was 16, he grew 2 inches in one 48 hour period. He was extremely hungry from the caloric necessities of the growth, but he was also in excruciating pain. After 15 hours in the hospital, during which time he ate over 10 pounds of food, he was in such pain that doctors induced a coma and let him sleep until he stopped growing. While he was unconscious he was fed through a tube. His body consumed over 50,000 calories.

Although they were originally invented in California, fortune cookies have become very popular in modern China. Many restaurants have hired professional fortune tellers to produce the fortunes. The problem with having individuals overseeing the fortune writing process is that they are susceptible to bribes. Chinese gangsters have been paying fortune writers to write fortunes predicting death. The gangsters then slip there fake fortunes to their rivals and kill them under questionable circumstances, always taking care to leave the fortune with the dead man. Many of the police are superstitious and will not investigate further once they find the fortunes with the body.

Many mainstream movies and television shows inspire porn remakes. 75% of the new television shows in 2006 inspired porn spinoffs. But the record for porn-inspired spinoffs is the television show Miami Vice, which (at last count) has directly influenced over 700 porn movies.

Theodor Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss, got his inspiration for his book The Cat in the Hat from a schizophrenic friend who only spoke in rhyme and insisted on dressing up all of his pets. Ironically, the friend never owned a cat because he thought that they were agents of the Government bent on stealing his canned goods. Geisel left this part out of the book, although he did acknowledge that he based the goldfish's paranoia about things going wrong on his mentally-ill acquaitance.

Actor Keanu Reeves lists the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando as being the most personally influential work of art that he has ever experienced. In a 2003 interview, Reeves said "I've seen the movie at least 75 times. It never gets old. It's the first movie that I ever saw that really made me appreciate the magic of the cinematic process, how it can be used to change lives and make them better. And the main character, John Matrix, is great. Since I first saw the movie I have always tried to live my lifes by the ideals that Matrix holds. I have a WWJD bracelet and in my mind I always use John instead of Jesus. Also, I know for a fact that if it wasn't for this movie, I would never have even thought about playing the role of Neo. I read the script for the The Matrix and thought that it was needlessly violent and philosophically confused. But I could never get over the name, and eventually that is what caused me to take the role."

Although politician Mitt Romney is a teetotaler in keeping with his Mormon beliefs, he likes to gargle with vodka because he thinks that it gives him a "devil-may-care" attitude.

Early 20th century sweatshop owners partially paid their workers in cocaine as a way to keep up production.

Members of the Russian Special Forces are required to grow and shave their pubic hair until they have enough to weave their own personal garotte. The task is designed to show determination and conviction and also plays on an old Russian tradition that such a shameful death as choking on pubic hair will doom a soul to a desolate and bereft afterlife.

Martha Stewart is writing a cook book specifically intended for use with the EZ Bake Oven. She said "Just because you are poor, or young, doesn't mean that you have to eat the crappy cake mixes that the oven comes with. I mean, have a little dignity people." The book is expected to sell for $60, roughly twice the cost of the oven itself.

Born-Again Christian/actor Stephen Baldwin is in talks to market a new ercetile dysfunction drug aimed at Christians. A portion of the proceeds will go towards combating abortions. The drug is tentatively called Petrus.

Based on emergency room visits, the most dangerous children's toy is Play-Doh. 9% of all children who own Play-Doh stick enough of the putty in various bodily orifices to require a doctor's care at some point in their lives.

Although there was turkey eaten by the Pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving meal in 1621, the main dish of that dinner was woodpeckers.

Every member of Britain's MI-6 agency has a special credit card with a sharpened ceramic edge capable of cutting through bone and Kevlar. They have to train using this credit card for 6 weeks before they are allowed to carry it. More than one agent has cut off the tip of his or her finger on accident.

47% of people who have won large cash prizes in lotteries believe that there is a significant skill factor involved in picking winning numbers

People who have lawns with integrated sprinkler systems are 4x more likely to be in therapy than people with movable sprinklers.

Presidential brother Neil Bush had an invisible playmate until he was 14 years old. It was a frog named Falafel that lived in one of his mother's shoes. In addition to worrying about her son's mental state, Barbara Bush was mad because she never got to wear that pair of shoes.

37% of fruitcakes sent during the Christmas season in the United States are intended by the senders as punishments rather than gifts.

Matthew McConaughey has settled his longstanding court battle over the length of grass in his yard. His opponents agreed to drop their hate speech lawsuit and he agreed to pay the $75,000 in home owner association fines. Although the lawsuit has been settled there are indications that McConaughey is still bitter. He recently purchased 10,000 moles and scattered them on every lawn in a 5-block radius from his house.

Men are most comfortable in dark blue underwear, while women report feeling more confident in red.

The first paper cut was described in Chinese writings in 110 AD, just 5 years after the invention of paper by Cai Lun.

Former Senator Strom Thurmond was a great believer in the power of farts to maintain a healthy gastrointestinal system. He made sure that he audibly farted at least 30 times a day and required all his staff to eat beans regularly.

In college, conservative columnist Ann Coluter made money by building custom water-pipes for campus stoners. Her speciality was building pipes of extreme size, culminating in a 14-foot model that she built for a frat house.

The pine marten, a North American member of the weasel family, occasionally works together in packs of hundreds to bring down large prey. Documented accounts of martens bringing down deer are common, and there are reports of moose succumbing to the chihuahua-sized animal. One unverified claim has the creatures killing a grizzly bear. Attacks generally result in numerous deaths of martens, but they breed quickly and the losses are made up with ease. These attacks are not the norm, as martens usually eat mice and other small animals. No one knows exactly what causes the communal behavior, but it is universally agreed that it is good that it is so rare.

Former Senator Jesse Helms had a great fondness for lampreys, both as a pet and as a dish. He could swallow a ten-inch lamprey whole, in one breath.

14% of all rulers sold in the United States are over 1/2 inch longer than 12 inches.

Midshipmen at the United States Naval Academy buy more comic books than students at any other university in the United States.

Newscaster Dan Rather suffers from poor proprioception, meaning that he has poor spacial awareness of where parts of his body are in relation to other parts. The upshot is that he tends to walk into a lot of door frames when trying to go through doors. As might be expected, this hurts, so he takes a good deal of aspirin. The combination of the blood thinning properites of aspirin and walking into doors has caused him to develop very large bruises on his arms. The bruises were so bad that at one point his co-workers suspected him of getting beaten by his wife.

38 out of the total 46 U.S. Vice Presidents shot someone at some point during their lives. The most frequent shooter was Schuyler Colfax, Vice President to Ulysses S. Grant. He is supposed to have shot at least 17 people at one time or another.

Scientists and engineers estimate that the human body only needs 163 of the 206 bones making up the skeleton to survive. Some people have started identifying these bones and having them removed in an effort to "become more perfect". The current lowest count is a man in India whose skeleton currently only has 184 bones, and functions perfectly well.

The bridal veil was originally developed to allow parents to pass off their less-attractive daughters.

It's possible to lose over 15 pounds in two days solely from crying.

Singer Toby Keith has a spittoon in every room of his house. He consumes over 3 packages of chewing tobacco a day. He has practiced enough so that he can regularly hit the spittoon from over 10 feets away. Unfortunately, the practice required for his accuracy has caused him to spend over $17,000 to replace rugs ruined by tobacco juice.

There is a long-standing rumor that it is illegal in Tucson, Arizona for women to wear pants. This is untrue. Although such a law was proposed by in the 1920s, it was not enacted as popularly supposed. Due to a typographical error it is illegal for anyone to wear pants in Tucson, female or male.

Actor/assassin John Wilkes Booth had a small, but profitable, business breeding and selling slugs to European theater companies. The slugs were used in plays to add a realistic touch. Booth's Spectacular Slugs were justly famous within the theater community for their size and wide variety of colorings.

Liquid dishwashing detergent is the third most commonly used sexual lubricant.

Russian scientists have discovered a way to keep organs living after death for up to three years, but the organs are rendered useless due to the fact that they all develop vestigial eyes.

Donald Trump's daughter, Ivanka, has never learned how to tie her shoes. She either wears slip-on shoes, or has someone else put her shoes on for her.

Rush Limbaugh keeps a baggy full of cooked bacon in his pocket at all times in case he eats a meal that, in his words, "needs a little pickup".

Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee used to keep an opossum, nicknamed Bitey, as a pet in the Arkansas State House. He would bring it out to show visitors as a way to break the ice at meetings. But one night, a cleaning woman accidentally surprised the animal and it played dead. She, thinking it actually dead, threw it in the trash outside in an effort to hide the evidence of her "crime". Governor Huckabee missed the possum the next day, and ordered an immediate search and investigation. He quickly got to the bottom of the story. In his grief, he ordered all the flags flown at half mast at all state government buildings. He is now thinking of purchasing a ferret.

Every member of the National Diet of Japan practices scarification. By contrast, only 32 members of the U.S. House of Representatives are known to practice scarification.

Once a year, Clint Eastwood eats an entire deep-fried turkey by himself. He doesn't do it in one sitting, but takes about a week and a half to consume every scrap of meat on the carcass. He has never fully explained why he does this. A friend worked up the courage to ask him about it once, but Eastwood just stared at him for thirty seconds and then turned away mumbling "..saved my life...sacred duty..." He has never talked to that friend again.

The average human being has mucus in their sinuses that is over five years old.

Talkshow host Jerry Springer suffers from intense migraine headaches. In addition to extreme pain and a sensitivity to light, these headaches also cause some unusual visual effects. When suffering from a headache, Springer can't see himself in the mirror. The first of these headaches manifested itself after a night out drinking, and Springer was convinced that he had been turned into a vampire by woman he met in a bar. He used his experiences as show ideas. He did one show on migraine sufferers and one on vampires.

The desk of the president of the Hershey Company is made from a heavily varnished slab of pure dark chocolate.

A U.S. dollar bill can absorb over 50x its weight in liquid. They are often used to clean up after drug-related murders.

The state of Washington has recognized that "homicidal fury triggered by extreme coulrophobia" is a legitimate murder defense. Coulrophobia is a fear of clowns.

Orson Wells was able to do the splits even when he weighed over 350 pounds. However once he was in the position he couldn't get out without the help of at least three men. This led to some embarassing encounters when he performed the splits during sex and got stuck.

After John Gotti was diagnosed with throat cancer, he wanted to smoke so badly that he punctured his ear drum and learned how to draw the smoke in through his ear.

Microsoft has been exploring the possibility of tattoos with magnetic ink to allow access to buildings on its campus without the need for an ID badge. At least three Christians have quit because of these reports, regarding the tattoos as the literal "Mark of the Beast" from the Book of Revelations.

Until 1916, all executions in Switzerland took place using a knife made of a specially-hardened (and very sharp) cheese known as Sbrinz. The cheese knife was abandoned when one broke during the killing thrust. Other cheese-based methods of killing were explored, but the only one that was considered feasible (crushing the criminal under a one-ton block of Pecorino cheese) was rejected on two grounds, 1) it was more expensive, and 2) it was foreign cheese.

in 1903, the U.S. Secret Service agents broke down the First Family's bedroom door after hearing what they thought was a fight. They found Edith Roosevelt apparently beating her husband, Theodore, and tackled her to the ground breaking two of her ribs. They then discovered that Mrs. Roosevelt was just trying to get her husband to stop snoring. The President slept through the entire encounter.

Bacon grease mixed with Coffee-Mate non-dairy creamer makes a very servicable and low cost alternative to napalm.

Mel Gibson is very concerned tht one of his children might be a target of kidnappers. He has trained them in a variety of skills that he feels are useful to prevent this from happening. All of them are expert drivers (even the ones that are underaged), all are proficient in both armed and unarmed combat, all of them can say "Help, police!" in the 30 most common world languages, and each one of them is an expert at tying and untying knots with their hands and their feet. Finally, each one of them has a GPS transmitter implanted subcutaneously for remote tracking. Gibson has also started to look into having their friends implanted (without their knowledge) so that he can keep an eye on those close to his children.

A recent poll of touring professional musicians revealed, rather unexpectedly, that Toledo was by far the favorite stop in a tour. Almost unanimously the muscians agreed that Toledo was the easiest city to get laid in. One anonymous musician said "The city has an extreme self-confidence problem. That makes it real easy." Interestingly, the survey result held true for both male and female musicians. The Toledo City Council has been having meetings about this issue since the poll came to light. They are torn between promoting the poll in an effort to get more money from touring musicians, and burying the poll because it makes Toledo look like, in the the words of one City Councilman, "a bunch of losers".

Football player Terrell Owens said in an interview that we would never pick himself in a fantasy football league. He said "I am just too volatile. Some asshole on my team is always going to get in my face and I'll have to smack them down. That's just the way it is."

There are more pirates now than every before in the history of the world. Every major shipping company expects to lose at least 5% of their profits due to piracy each year.

Actress Florence Henderson is a very serious composter. Fully half of her 1 acre backyard is taken up by a giant compost pile. She takes in organic materials from all the houses in a 3 block radius. She spends at least 4 hours a day turning the pile with a pitchfork. She sells the compost to local nurseries under the name "Mrs. Brady's Grow Stuff". She sometimes takes her passion too far. Two of her children refused to talk to her for over a year when they found out that she composted the family dog.

Candy canes got their distinctive red and white color due to the fact that when they were first invented the only dye available to use in making the candy was pig's blood.

Actress Andie Macdowell makes a cast of a different part of her body every month. She is intent on documenting the changes that her body goes through over time. She has been doing this for over 17 years and has over 200 different casts, each labelled when and where it was done. Her ultimate goal is to create a series of realistic 3D models of her body changing over time and then sell that series to a medical school as an educational tool.

Shotputting is the national sport of Albania. The fact that no Albanian has ever won an Olympic shotputting medal is considered to be a national disgrace. After each medal-less Olympics the newspapers have publically called for the murder or suicide of the Albanian Olympic shotputting team. The most famous Albanian shotputter escaped death only by cutting off all the fingers on his right hand.

Outdoor clothier Eddie Bauer hated camping with a passion. He used to say that "Only cavemen and the mentally deranged would submit to the elements in this day and age. I'm just glad that those two segments of the population seem to have a good deal of disposable income."

The silkworm (Bombyx mori) does not metabolize heroin but incorporates it, as is, into its silk production. Enterprising drug smugglers have used this as a way to smuggle heroin in and out of countries. The mulberry leaves of the silkworm diet are sprayed with heroin, the silkworm eats those leaves and produces silk that contains heroin. This silk can be used for any purpose that normal silk can. Once the silk is imported to the target country the heroin can be extracted from the silk with a chemical process. Some of the heroin-impregnated silk has actually been used to make high-quality shirts. These shirts are much in demand because over time the heroin leeches out of the fabric and into the wearer's body through the skin. It doesn't duplicate the effect of actually injecting heroin, but it does (according to one wearer) "make everything seem groovier". The downside is that the wearers are extremely unwilling to take off the shirts and wash them because that can blunt the effect of the heroin. It has been reported that some people have worn the shirts until they fell off their bodies from excessive wear.

When asked how they would most prefer to die, men and women had extremely different answers. The most popular choice for men was dying in brutal hand-to-hand combat against a thief trying to steal his electronics. The most popular choice for women was to bleed to death, from a wound received rushing a child to the hospital, while on the doorstep of a lover that had spurned her and remarried.

Before 1975, Ohio State University accepted applicants based on a strict alphabetical quota. Every letter of the alphabet starting a last name had to be represented equally. Although this was not well known to the general public, it was well known to applicants whose last names started with Q, X, and Z. The policy was finally overturned when a white supremacist sued the school on the grounds that letting in an equal number of Z students would give an unfair advantage to Polish Americans.

A number of movie stars now take all nutrition in a liquid form. This enables them to easily control their weight, and it allows them to maintain pearly white teeth at all times.

In 1956, Pope Pius XII was shocked and appalled by the response of America's youth to the singing and gyrations of Elvis Presley on the Ed Sullivan Show. He felt that Elvis represented such a grave threat to the Catholic Church that he formed a special taskforce to attempt to combat Elvis' influence. This task force took a variety of tacks against the singer, including supporting more traditional and conservative singers (they gave Pat Boone over $100,000), and buying up Elvis' paraphenalia so that fans couldn't have blasphemous "relics" of the singer. The taskfore eventually amassed the world's largest collection of Elvis memorabilia, including his famous gold lamé suit, for which it paid over $45,000. The collection is stored under tight security under the Vatican. No non-Catholic priest (or non-Swiss Guard) has ever seen the collection, but there is a persistent rumor that one of the items is a series of pictures of Pope John Paul II trying on various outfits.

The number of people who handle poisonous snakes during religious ceremonies to show faith, i.e. "snake handlers", grew by over 550% in 1992, after the bartender on The Simpsons, Moe Syzslak, admitted that he was a snake handler.

The personal assistants of Los Angeles are constantly called upon to make last minute reservations at extremely exclusive restaurants. One cunning assistant of a Paramount exec recently called a restaurant and when informed that there were no spaces available, called the health department with an anonymous complaint that the restaraunt in question served cat meat. The entire place was closed down for two days. The executive gave the assistant a $5000 bonus for exemplary lateral thinking.

Actor Matt Dillon (and to a lesser extent his brother Kevin) suffers from acute, extraneous dental growth, AKA rodent mouth. Unlike most people, his teeth are continuing to grow throughout his life. He has to have regular appointment to get his teeth filed down. He tried to deal with it as rodents do, i.e. gnawing on hard substances, but found that both boring and problematic due to splinters.

94% of all fruit sold in the United States contains insects in some stage of development, from eggs to essentially fully-developed adults.

Since 2002, the Transportation Security Administration has confiscated over 85,000 sexual aids as "potential security hazards".

Rockstar Geddy Lee of the band Rush owns a majority interest in Dutch pot farm that provides Amsterdam with 45% of its annual marijuana supply.

Casey Kasem said that he always tried to play the voice of Shaggy on Scooby Doo as a beatnik who had just recently come down off of a acid trip. He drew on his own personal experiences as one of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters. He was scheduled to go on the cross country trip that was chronicled in Tom Wolfe's book The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test but was arrested for public drunkeness and lewd behavior two days before the trip left.

The world longest running and most unknown revolution is in Greenland. The Greenlanders have been attempting to overthrow Danish rule since 1814. It is a surprisingly peaceful revolt with only 3 people having died during that time span.

When President William Howard Taft died in 1930 his wife was so overcome with grief that she secretly had him partially skinned and used the skin to make a belt so that she could always keep him near. Afterwards she was often heard to say that he one regret in life is that she didn't get more skin and have a pair of matching shoes made as well.

According to statistical analyses of public speeches, local politicians in the United States have an average vocabulary that is roughly 25% greater than the average U.S. citizen. The same analyses found that the average national politician has a vocabulary that is 25% smaller than the average citizen.