Early 20th century sweatshop owners partially paid their workers in cocaine as a way to keep up production.

Members of the Russian Special Forces are required to grow and shave their pubic hair until they have enough to weave their own personal garotte. The task is designed to show determination and conviction and also plays on an old Russian tradition that such a shameful death as choking on pubic hair will doom a soul to a desolate and bereft afterlife.

Martha Stewart is writing a cook book specifically intended for use with the EZ Bake Oven. She said "Just because you are poor, or young, doesn't mean that you have to eat the crappy cake mixes that the oven comes with. I mean, have a little dignity people." The book is expected to sell for $60, roughly twice the cost of the oven itself.

Born-Again Christian/actor Stephen Baldwin is in talks to market a new ercetile dysfunction drug aimed at Christians. A portion of the proceeds will go towards combating abortions. The drug is tentatively called Petrus.

Based on emergency room visits, the most dangerous children's toy is Play-Doh. 9% of all children who own Play-Doh stick enough of the putty in various bodily orifices to require a doctor's care at some point in their lives.

Although there was turkey eaten by the Pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving meal in 1621, the main dish of that dinner was woodpeckers.

Every member of Britain's MI-6 agency has a special credit card with a sharpened ceramic edge capable of cutting through bone and Kevlar. They have to train using this credit card for 6 weeks before they are allowed to carry it. More than one agent has cut off the tip of his or her finger on accident.

47% of people who have won large cash prizes in lotteries believe that there is a significant skill factor involved in picking winning numbers

People who have lawns with integrated sprinkler systems are 4x more likely to be in therapy than people with movable sprinklers.

Presidential brother Neil Bush had an invisible playmate until he was 14 years old. It was a frog named Falafel that lived in one of his mother's shoes. In addition to worrying about her son's mental state, Barbara Bush was mad because she never got to wear that pair of shoes.

37% of fruitcakes sent during the Christmas season in the United States are intended by the senders as punishments rather than gifts.

Matthew McConaughey has settled his longstanding court battle over the length of grass in his yard. His opponents agreed to drop their hate speech lawsuit and he agreed to pay the $75,000 in home owner association fines. Although the lawsuit has been settled there are indications that McConaughey is still bitter. He recently purchased 10,000 moles and scattered them on every lawn in a 5-block radius from his house.

Men are most comfortable in dark blue underwear, while women report feeling more confident in red.

The first paper cut was described in Chinese writings in 110 AD, just 5 years after the invention of paper by Cai Lun.

Former Senator Strom Thurmond was a great believer in the power of farts to maintain a healthy gastrointestinal system. He made sure that he audibly farted at least 30 times a day and required all his staff to eat beans regularly.

In college, conservative columnist Ann Coluter made money by building custom water-pipes for campus stoners. Her speciality was building pipes of extreme size, culminating in a 14-foot model that she built for a frat house.

The pine marten, a North American member of the weasel family, occasionally works together in packs of hundreds to bring down large prey. Documented accounts of martens bringing down deer are common, and there are reports of moose succumbing to the chihuahua-sized animal. One unverified claim has the creatures killing a grizzly bear. Attacks generally result in numerous deaths of martens, but they breed quickly and the losses are made up with ease. These attacks are not the norm, as martens usually eat mice and other small animals. No one knows exactly what causes the communal behavior, but it is universally agreed that it is good that it is so rare.

Former Senator Jesse Helms had a great fondness for lampreys, both as a pet and as a dish. He could swallow a ten-inch lamprey whole, in one breath.

14% of all rulers sold in the United States are over 1/2 inch longer than 12 inches.

Midshipmen at the United States Naval Academy buy more comic books than students at any other university in the United States.

Newscaster Dan Rather suffers from poor proprioception, meaning that he has poor spacial awareness of where parts of his body are in relation to other parts. The upshot is that he tends to walk into a lot of door frames when trying to go through doors. As might be expected, this hurts, so he takes a good deal of aspirin. The combination of the blood thinning properites of aspirin and walking into doors has caused him to develop very large bruises on his arms. The bruises were so bad that at one point his co-workers suspected him of getting beaten by his wife.

38 out of the total 46 U.S. Vice Presidents shot someone at some point during their lives. The most frequent shooter was Schuyler Colfax, Vice President to Ulysses S. Grant. He is supposed to have shot at least 17 people at one time or another.