Just what the title says.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

In New York City the odds of living in a house or building that hasn't been the site of a murder in the past 100 years is 1,250,000 to 1.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

In the United States a car is stolen every 31 seconds. A police car is stolen every 47 seconds.

Friday, October 26, 2007

On Fridays, there is a 15% chance that a given office worker in the United States is hungover.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

In the Northern Territory of Australia, it is just as likely for a person to have a pet wombat as a pet dog.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Americans lose an estimated $570,000 in dimes every single day.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

In the past 100 years there have been over 1200 different species of animals that have directly caused human deaths. This includes over 200 species of mammals, over 500 species of reptiles and 123 different species of fish.

Monday, October 22, 2007

High school marching band members join the military at a rate that is more than double the rate of high school football players.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Actor Matt Damon has trained a flock of crows to live in the trees outside his house and attack anyone who comes around with a camera. It's his way of dealing with the paparazzi. His training methods have been so effective he has been asked to co-author a peer-reviewed paper on avian behavior.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

An estimated 15% of Louisiana alligators have eaten human flesh. This mainly consists of toes and fingers of people living nearby their habitats, but also a large number of coffins unearthed through various hurricanes have provided food for the reptiles.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Singer Cyndi Lauper has damaged her hearing from playing concerts to the point that her own speaking voice is pitched too high for her to hear herself talk.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild video series, has given a plastic surgeon $2.7 million to research what surgical techniques would be required to make a human quadrupedal.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Paris Hilton loves the iPod. Since its introduction in 2001, she has bought over 275 iPods. This is partly due to the fact that there have been numerous different models and sizes, but mostly due to the fact that she loses them about once every two weeks. She has also dropped at least 17 of them in various toilets.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Every month over 15 people come to Atlantic City hospitals after having their thumbs cut off.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Newsman Chris Matthews always undresses with the music from Carmina Burana playing. He has his whole house wired with speakers so he can take his clothes off in any room.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Despite the fact that in Rome over 60% of daily traffic accidents are caused by Vespa scooters, very few of them are prosecuted because the Italian government believes that it shouldn't tarnish the Vespa as "an important symbol of the carefree Italian lifestyle".

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Every year in the United States more than 300 people are buried in coffins made entirely out of duct tape. The average coffin requires 7 complete rolls of duct tape, making the coffin cost approximately $30. Some especially frugal individuals have instructed that their bodies just be wrapped in tape, like a mummy. Unless the individual is extremely fat (over 600 pounds) this requires only one roll of tape.

Monday, October 08, 2007

A vegan group has spent over $10,000,000 trying to breed a more intelligent variety of cow in an effort to make them more lovable and thus make it less likely for people to want to eat them. Unfortunately it hasn't worked precisely as planned. The cows all have bizarrely large skulls and people feel an instinctual loathing for them as something unnatural or even, in the words of one, "unholy".

Friday, October 05, 2007

Political commentator/advisor James Carville is a passionate believer in free speech. So much so, in fact, that he answers the door for every solicitor that comes by. He does however always carry his cat with him. He gives the solicitor or canvasser one minute to interest him and if they don't he hurls his cat at their face. Although there have not, to date, been any injuries that required stitches, the solicitor/canvasser almost invariably has to make use of the box of band aids and antibiotic ointment that is always on Carville's porch.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

When actor/musician Harry Connick Jr. was young he had a dream about cannibalistic sheep that scared him so badly he needed the lights to be on while he slept for an entire month. He gradually forgot the dream as he got older, but as adult he suddenly remembered the specifics of the dream when a fellow diner told him what mutton was. He screamed non-stop for 30 minutes before a quick-thinking assistant threw a Xanax and a rohypnol in his mouth when he stopped to take a breath. He slept for 12 hours and woke up having forgotten the whole incident. His friends, family and employees now warn everyone to never mention mutton to him again.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The people of Missouri eat twice as many Cheetos, in total, as any other state.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Actor Donald Sutherland carries an Epi-Pen of adrenaline at all times and tells people that it is because he is very allergic to bees. He is not actually allergic, he just uses this as an excuse for his Epi-Pen so he can give himself injections in public without any legal troubles. When he starts to get tired, he just fakes a bee sting and floods his veins with the sweet energy of human adrenaline.

Monday, October 01, 2007

In 2006, a Miami man was granted a divorce from his wife without alimony while acting as his own attorney. His stated reason for the divorce consisted of three words "Bitch be crazy." The judge presiding on the case granted the divorce after a 30 minute interview with the woman. His summary judgement: "Although his initial lack of sense in agreeing to the marriage is truly egregious, I am forced by fact and my own judgment to conclude that his stated reason for requesting dissolution of the marriage is one of the most sound that has ever been presented in my court."